


The Pursuit

by WarnerHedgehog



Category: Milton Jones - Fandom
Genre: Geese, Gen, Humour, Surreal, Vole - Freeform, reddit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 09:51:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6606352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarnerHedgehog/pseuds/WarnerHedgehog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The result of a Reddit writing prompt, this explains why Dave's  life is so odd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pursuit

Dave ran like a hamster possessed, with legs whirring like beans he almost ran like the wind. Behind him and gaining were 4 and a half very angry giant neon space geese. As he pelted along the bright pink swirling Westminster Bridge, a Green Speckled Political Owl swooped low, grabbed one of the geese with its slippers and flew away, presumably to devour it's catch. Good thought Dave, three and a quarter geese left. That being said, three and a bit Space Geese was still three too many so he needed to thin the herd a bit.  
"Aha!" He yelled. At the end of the bridge that Dave was approaching fast was an Electric Stick Vole. Dave nimbly danced to the right, grabbed the vole and with a neat spinning jump threw it at the geese. It hit the lead goose dead on the beak, causing it to dissipate in a cloud of orange cotton and thus making the other birds reel in gingham shock. Dave didn't see this though as he had completed his spin jump and was hurtling onward, but the reduced and slightly more nervous honking was a relief. He was beginning to really wish he hadn't nudged their drinks in the pub earlier. It was an accident, but the geese got well narked anyway. He ducked round a corner and saw a flashing power square on the ground. "Good bloody thing too!" he shouted to himself. He made sure to tread on it as he ran, hoping the result would be good. It wasn't too great as all that happened was the geese just turned blue and slowed down a bit. He dodged around a few more corners and whooped in delight as he clapped eyes on a Spaghetti Portal. Spaghetti Portals lead to an anti goose safe zone and were very important things that should never to be taken lightly. You knew where you were with a Spaghetti Portal.  
He was about to jump through to safety when without warning the world flickered and went black. In front of him some words started to form and scroll upward, "We apologise for the interruption to your reality." they politely said, "This really isn't on and we humbly beg your forgiveness. It would seem that due to an unfortunate theological programming mistake, your life has made an address error and crashed. It would seem that the godlet responsible was massively incompetent and due to his being useless your previous go was stuck on "surreal" and was completely unalterable. He has now been reduced to volcanic ash and fed to a heavenly daffodil, whereas you have have been deemed suitable to qualify for a replay: in other words, the problem has finally been resolved and it is now possible for you to change your settings to something you'd prefer and start again. Please choose from the following options: 'stupidly easy', 'very easy', 'easy', 'normal', 'awkward', 'irritating', 'hard', 'moronically hard', 'weird', 'surreal', 'Milton Jones', 'Dr Evil', 'musical' or 'just stupid'.  
Dave thought for a couple of minutes, umming and ahhing over the choices and eventually said "Oh, fair enough. Let's have a bang at Milton Jones then, that sounds like fun."  
And so it was that he became a mad haired punning comedian in a Hawaiian shirt.  
Dave wouldn't have been surprised to know that in his original reality, instead of devouring the goose as he had presumed, the Owl and the goose got married and went on to rule the world in a camp comedy dictatorship kind of way. Everyone loved it.


End file.
